Isn’t it crazy how some people you “click with” as soon as you meet them and some it takes a while for the relationship to grow? There are four stages to a relationship, even though sometimes they happen fast…
Stage 1 -First Day Of School (you meet the first time)
You remember the first day of school? No one knows anybody (or very few people) and it is very awkward…Most of the conversations start with, “Hi. My name is (fill in the blank). You don’t know the person at all, you are just getting to meet them. Guys that start the conversation with a girl and say, “Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!” is much better off just introducing themselves.
The best way to start a relationship is to start with a,”Hi, my name is…”
Stage 2 -The Deskmate (start a conversation)
Then you get a desk at school. You might meet someone that is your desk mate. You have introduced yourself and small talk happens. ”Do you like the teacher?” ”What is your favorite sport?” “This desk is old.” ”Who are you eating with at lunch?” These questions can be translated to “Do you like your job?” or “Where do you work?” Sometimes the introduction comes with small talk and sometimes it doesn’t.
The small talk is how to start the conversation.
Stage 3 -The Cafeteria (you go somewhere and hang out)
From the desk mate to the cafeteria buddy. The small talk that happened at the desk translates to lunch at the cafeteria. This is usually an event that you go to, whether it be lunch, or a mixer, or hanging out with your dogs, or dinner. You leave your normal circumstances to go do something together. In class you have to sit together, but at lunch you don’t. The cafeteria is where groups form and relationships build even more.
The conversation leads to a “hang out” event.
Stage 4 -Recess (you interact all the time)
Once you hang out at lunch you are probably headed to recess. This is where you play, talk, and hang out. Your relationship is now in a stage where the awkward pause is gone and your influence in that persons life is extremely high. You can call that person anytime, have last minute trips to the movies, and share about what is really going on in each others lives.
The “hang out” event leads to influence and authenticity.
These stages may happen quickly, but almost everyone goes thru them….More on this tomorrow 
November 19th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
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