Have you ever been in a conversation with an individual, but you felt as though they said something else than the words they actually used?

For instance, this happens in marriages often. A wife will say, “You always do that!” That is when the husband immediately thinks, “That’s not true, I did that twice last week.” That is because we don’t often say what is true, but we say what we feel.

Our desire should be to match words of truth to our feelings.

So the statement sounding like, “You always do that!” should be, “It really hurts me when you do/don’t do X.” Statements that sound like, “I was never in love with him/her,” really are “I have been hurt so badly, I don’t think I can do it anymore.” Or others like “We just fell apart,” really are “I started to put work over him/her.”

We have a real fear to speak to others what we are truly feeling.

How do we overcome it?

Two things: 1. Know that you are the one that has to confront your fear. 2. Know that God will give you the courage and humility to face it.

I went to dinner with my wife last week and we were talking to the waiter about the tragedy in Haiti.

As we talked, he mentioned something that I thought was very profound. He said, “People have a hard time dealing with things in a very large or very small magnitude and usually we dismiss these things in our lives because emotionally it is just too much.”
I thought, “Wow, that is so true!” His example, was that if you lose a loved one, it would be unbearable. But if fifty thousand people die it is almost unimaginable.

Think about space and then try to think what happens if you keep going further. Or think about atoms, neutrons, or protons, and then think smaller. I mean, we can think about it conceptually, but our brain doesn’t function well in the realm beyond that.

If you take this to a practical level in our lives it is exactly the way we behave as well. If a decision seems too big we usually shy away, and if it is too small we ignore it, but both of these are ways of dismissing our reality.

God works in the macro and micro. Many times people think that God only deals with the big picture and then He leaves us to figure out the small stuff. Yet, if you look at scripture, you will see countless times where God intervenes in both ways. Allow God to show you the things He wants to change in you in big and small ways. Doing this will allow you to experience contentment with the small and adventure in the big.

P.s. You can donate 10 dollars to the Red Cross Relief Efforts by texting “HAITI” to 90999.

I was cutting an onion for my wife a few weeks ago and I wanted to cry! The outside of a raw onion is dry, but once you peel and cut into the core of it, the gas is released and that is what causes the painful feeling in our eyes.

As humans, we seem to naturally communicate like the outside of an onion. For example, if someone asks, “How was your day yesterday?” we usually respond with a simple “good.” Yet, just yesterday, you probably had a million thoughts, emotions, and ideas jumbled into that day.

Unfortunately, we take this same “outside of the onion” approach into our marriage. I find that many people have no clue what their spouse is going through emotionally, and when they do find out (usually through a fight), it is like the smell of a raw onion that stings their eyes and it becomes difficult to process.

Husbands should love their wives as Christ loves the church and wives should respect their husbands. This is very difficult to do when we have no clue what our spouse is dealing with on the inside.

Take a moment to serve your wife/husband and also ask them how you can better do that in the future. Your relationship with God (i.e. prayer, scripture, awareness of Him) will give you the strength to continue to serve your spouse. Don’t be discouraged if they do not respond right away. Changes usually do not happen overnight, but continue to strengthen your relationship with God and see what happens in your relationship with your spouse.